Concord
by Sam M. Phillips

I’m weird and neurotic,
An exotic bird,
Barking esoteric mating calls,
Falls on deaf ears,
Female leers and steers away,
Destined to stray anyway,
It’s just a lay,
A need fulfilled,
We thrilled each other for a while,
Two strangers in grand style,
All the while we knew it was fleeting,

Eating breakfast
As bones are cast,
At last,
A decision,
Derision now,
Two acquaintances leaving,
Not knowing much,
But such passion,
Smash them to pieces,
It never ceases,
Merry-go-round,
As bodies pound,
Then break,
Heartache,
Rake uses,
Whore uses,
Same drugs,
Adrenaline,
Endorphin,
Serotonin,
We win a hit of each,

Teach us moderation
Before the castration comes,
Runs us ragged,
Worn and torn,
Forlorn and lonely after all,
Stall this inevitable catastrophe,
Monumental mastery required,
New way sired,
Old way expired,
I’m tired but still trying
To find a way to keep from crying,
Stop lying to myself,
I’m better than I realise,
I idealise a standard that is unobtainable,
It is not sustainable,
Perfection a fable,
Told around the table in youth,
Proof parents don’t know best,
Test comes later on,
Bound to be wrong
Because there is no right,

Tight constriction,
Restriction of ability,
I feel silly,
Low,
Do not know a way forward,
Toward a goal I value,
Why do you look at me that way?
I do not stray,
I play exclusively in my head,
A lead weight hanging,
Banging my sternum,
A serum serving me,
Preserving me,
A mummy,
What a dummy,
I’m numbing,
Always running from cause,
Will not pause to let the sore heal,
Want to steal back energetic stack,
Take what I lack,
Track a new record,
A new concord,
A new way to relate,
A new way to sate appetite,
A new way to finally do right.

***

Did you enjoy this poem? Help the author by becoming a patron here: patreon.com/samphillips

Like the author on facebook: facebook.com/sammorganphillips/