To Be Free

by Sam M. Phillips

All my dreams turn to dust,

I scream and burn because I must,

All my panic lost in lust,

I move manic, the cost of trust

Being eroded from my brain,

It has corroded under strain,

The same pathways repeat again,

The game sways, can’t compete to gain

Supremacy, dependency

On the dole, my soul

Falling without a calling,

Stalling under inaction,

Crawling towards satisfaction,

But never drawing near,

Always held back by fear,

Clear that I’m mad,

Frenzied and sad,

Glad for a respite,

Bite hand that feeds,

Succeeds in breaking up my life,

I’m made of singular strife,

Rife with stinking thinking,

Linking parts that should not be,

I cannot see a way to be

Free of all this, why do I miss

The common signposts?

My story boasts neither freedom

Or a wish to condemn

Myself to a hateful prison—

Why all of this derision?

I’ve made a frightful position

For myself, no insightful wisdom

Do I possess, I have even less

Courage — a barrage

Of fear fools me into a trap,

I let it wrap

Me up, so abrupt

And uncouth, proof

I’m an aloof, lost soul,

With no goal

Other than to function,

To be able to take action,

But I cannot reach any situation

Where I calm down and breath light,

I have no balm — in town I want to fight

With myself and others,

But no one bothers

To take me seriously enough,

I’m not tough, I’m not rough

Around the edges — wedges

I drive between you and I,

I don’t know why I cry

So much — out of touch

And incomplete, no neat

Ending for me,

Bending to see

What I can do to be free.

***

My new book is out now!

THE RINGED GIANT: Eight Science Fantasy Novelettes

Saturn themed tales of space, hackers, aliens, inter-dimensional travel, gladiators, airships, and enhanced space cows!

Available from Amazon in ebook and paperback here: THE RINGED GIANT